I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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