I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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