In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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