So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
