cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
