ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
4 words: hood of his car
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
