last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she told me i tasted like america
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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