I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
