Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
