Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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