oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
