When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
