you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
