K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
