sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hell yes lets make some ravioli
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
