it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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