If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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