Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
