I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
