wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
