Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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