Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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