I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
