I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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