What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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