Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
