Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
