I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
