i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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