i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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