You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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