We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
