she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
