I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
