it hurts more in the daytime
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
