Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
