of course. lets lasso hookers.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think people are normalizing furries
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
