All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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