So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
im six kinds of drunk right now
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize