Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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