Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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