I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize