the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
