i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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