Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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