420 ftw
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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