apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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