You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
