these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
