I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
