I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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