Just cropdusted the office
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
