i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize