she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
