oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
