ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
