i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
