I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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