i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
