and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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