Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
