i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's rum buckets o'clock
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
