yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
