after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Randomize
