so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
