I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
babies were throwing up all over the place
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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