Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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