got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
