Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
