The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
