Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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