Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
