is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
