Why are handjobs necessary in class?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
