So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
May the power of my ass compel you!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
