Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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