he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
