She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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