I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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